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For some reason that Icouldn’t understand, it was arousing to me to have the feeling of being feminine. I was quickly comingto terms with being a punk for Bull, and just needed to think about it a little more. Back in the cell that night, after lockdown and Bull and I going to bed, he said, “One of my friendstold me that he saw you and your wife in the visitor’s center today. He overheard you telling her aboutyour problems having your ass kicked all the time. He said that she is hotter than hell. How’d you everget a woman like that, being a wimpy punk with a little dick?” He paused for a few seconds, and continued, “It got me turned on hearing about her pretty whiteface, huge tits and nice ass, and I sure could use a mouth on my cock right about now, to help me getrid of this big load. You might want to take me up on my offer for protection before those other menhurt you so bad that your wife won’t even recognize you.” I lay frozen in bed, knowing that the moment of truth was at. A realization hit me in the brain hard. Sincegetting dressed this morning a switch had flipped in my head. I hadstopped thinking of the clothing, the house, the entire environment ashers. It had become mine. Everything was mine and I was supposed towear the dresses. It felt normal to walk, talk, think and refer to thisas me. The thought that I had just referred to myself as "Bea" wasstrange yet looking in the mirror it was even stranger to think of myselfas "David" hell I had just basically become my grandmother! To thestate, and to myself. Out of know where I came. Yes I had an orgasmwith the knowledge that I was now my own grandmother! Worse, or bettermaybe, the orgasm was not followed with shame or regret, only calm. As Ihave explained I always had some regret or shame but not now. All I hadwas the urge to clean up and soak my panties in cold water so as not ruinthem. I changed into new high waist satin panties and went to thebathroom to fill the sink. Just as I was.
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